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ABA acceptance awareness community tribe

Your Tribe

This is a topic I’ve written about before:  finding your tribe.  Your people.  The group of people who “just get it.”

Something I can say about the autism community:  we have an amazing group of people to call “ours.”  We are a group of people who fiercely love our kids and will do anything and everything to help them.  Because of our shared experiences, we also bring something else to the table:  acceptance.

Yesterday, Colin’s school had a Christmas party at a local bounce house place.  These types of places usually bring so much stress for me:  can I see both of the boys?  Are they okay?  Are there other kids who aren’t paying attention to the little ones and might hurt them?  Is Colin following the rules?

I didn’t feel a single one of those emotions yesterday.

Why?

Because we were with “our people.”  People who understood.  People who didn’t bat an eye when a kid sat on the floor and spun in circles.  People who accept kids who are a little different, because their own kid is a little different too.

I stood and watched yesterday, and do you know what I saw?

I saw joy on every kids’ face.

I saw parents enjoying their kids.

I just saw regular families, enjoying a party.

I saw acceptance and love.

I heard this question today:

“What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?”

I’d want to make the world look and feel like yesterday’s party looked and felt.  Our kids on the spectrum, just having fun, being themselves, and being accepted and loved for it.

Categories
ABA BCBA progress thankful therapy

The Perfect Gift

This picture makes my heart happy.

This is Colin and Teri, his BCaBA.  Rumor has it that after they cuddled cheek to cheek and looked out the window, he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

This is part of his school day, and I’m so thankful for all of these people.  We are so blessed to have this amazing team of people as part of our tribe.  He loves his school too – he grabbed his back pack and was ready to go to school before I even said it was time to go today.

I’ve been looking back on 2018.  He’s come such a long way.

He said his first word.
He started using his AAC device.
He is following directions.
He is matching pictures.
He is receptively identifying pictures.
He is labeling pictures with his device.
He is verbally imitating words.
He is sleeping through the night, initiating more, even doing some chores.

Every Christmas season, I try really hard to find the perfect gifts for my kids.  To find those things that will make them smile and bring joy.

This picture represents everything that I wanted for Colin this year.

Last Christmas, I just wanted to hear his sweet voice.  I got to hear that first word in January.

I wanted him to communicate with me.  He started using his device in March.

I wanted to get him the help that needed in order to give him his best chance.  I wanted to surround him with people who believed in him just as much as I do.  I am forever thankful for all that Teri (and the rest of his amazing team) has done for him and our family.

He might not know it yet, but they have given him the best gift ever: teaching him how to learn, accepting him as he is, acknowledging all that he has the potential to be, and loving him for the perfect little boy that he is.

Categories
ABA autism BCBA progress therapy

Thank You, ABA Team

To Colin’s ABA team:

First of all, Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope you all eat your weight in turkey and pie today – you deserve it. Have that second or third piece of pie, you know you’ve earned it!

I wanted to take a little time today to thank you all.  You’ve only been a part of our lives for about nine months, but you’ve made such an impact on our little family in that short period of time.

First, I have you all to thank for Colin’s amazing progress.  You are in the trenches with us every single day, working tirelessly to help him succeed.  You power through the rough times and celebrate with him in the good times.

I want you to know how much of an impact you’re making, because sometimes we forget in the day to day how far we’ve come.

You have taken a little boy who didn’t sit at the table, and you have taught him to sit for long stretches of time.  (Have you ever tried to bathe a cat?  Getting Colin to sit in a chair was a very similar experience about nine months ago.)

You have taken a little boy who only did things that were his idea, and you taught him complete adult-directed tasks.

You have taken a little boy who screamed out of frustration and you have given him a voice.

You have taken a little boy who thought “WAIT” was a bad four letter word, and you have taught him to patiently wait and ENJOY it like it’s a game.

You have taken a little boy who was so unsure of himself, and you’ve given him self-confidence.

You have taken a little boy who was just stuck, and you have taught him how to learn.

You have opened up a whole new world of opportunity to him and to our family.

Just as important as all of those things listed above, you have taken a little boy who could easily be overlooked, or left behind, or ignored, and you have accepted and loved him for who he is.  You see him, truly see him.  You see his sweet personality (and ornery streak), and you see his potential.

Today, I hope that you are proud of the jobs that you do, because they are ever so important to family’s like ours.  You have changed the trajectory of my son’s life – and that’s monumental.  You truly are life-changing ninjas – wear that badge with honor!  Your jobs are so important, and we are forever thankful for you all.

Categories
ABA autism therapy

I Love ABA

I love ABA.

There, I said it.

Really, if ABA were a person, I’d be talking Curtis into the whole “sister-wife” thing…that maybe just got a little weird, but really.  I’d marry ABA.

In just six months, ABA has changed Colin’s life.  It has taught him how to learn.  When you teach a kid how to learn, you open up the world to them.

I am so proud of his new skills:  sitting and working, waiting, matching, sorting, imitating, attending to task, using his AAC device, gaining verbal words….the list goes on and on.  Seeing how much progress he has made in six months (with just two hours of therapy a day) is unbelievable.

But do you know what else ABA has given Colin?

Confidence.

I watched him today while we attended a birthday party for some friends.  Their house was full of people that he (mostly) didn’t know.  He sat at the table as we sang “Happy Birthday.”  He watched them open their gifts.  He played with their new toys.  He interacted with other adults.  He was happy.  We stayed for two hours – this would never have been possible before ABA.

With ABA therapy, he has learned that he can try new things.  He used to enter a new situation and immediately try to flee.  Meltdowns happened almost immediately.  When he didn’t know what was expected of him, or didn’t know what to do, he wanted out of there.  When he did come around to trying something new or hard, he wanted to be alone.  When he first became interested in puzzles, he only tried them when he was alone.  If I approached him, he immediately stopped.  It was almost like he was uncomfortable in his own skin and was afraid to even try.

Today, I watched him.  He sat.  He observed.  He saw what everyone else was doing, and he joined in and did it too.  He was comfortable and happy.

He wanted to play with their new NERF gun.  He took it to another adult.  He tried to load the dart, but couldn’t figure it out.  The adult helped  him do it the first time.  The second time, Colin was able to do it himself.  He had the confidence in himself to try something new.  He never did that before ABA.

As my Mawmaw would say, you can see the wheels turning.  He is watching and learning.  This is such an important skill, and we have his amazing ABA therapists to thank for that.

This time last year, I worried about him so much.  Would he ever talk?  Would he ever follow directions? Would he ever progress beyond where he was?   Could he learn new things?

Now, I still worry about him.  I wonder if he will ever have functional speech.  But now, I know that he will continue to make progress.  He is learning new things everyday.  He has developed a self-confidence that gives him the ability to try new things.  ABA therapy isn’t just teaching him how to “do this” or “do that,” it is teaching him how to learn and giving him confidence in his ability to learn along the way.  Seeing how confident he has become in learning makes my heart happy.

(And, Hey, ABA – if you’re out there and reading this, the sister-wife offer still stands.  Full disclosure here: you’re on laundry duty.  It’s my least favorite chore.  I hope that’s not a deal breaker.)